Office Humor

Hey, down here, it’s me, your banged up, grimy yet loyal keyboard.

Your thumb pounds at my spacebar over and over, while your pathetic spelling forces you to stomp backspace like a doormat with your mucky boots.

I take your neglect all day long. My keys are dirty and worn due to your sordid fat fingers pecking away thoughtlessly.

Let me channel Aretha, “All I’m askin’ Is for a little respect”. You write on kindness, how about some for me? I mean, when your mouse is getting slow, you exchange batteries. A smudge on the screen? You bust out diluted Windex. Yet, I lay here and am a catch-all for your finger filth, cookie/chip crumbs, and spilled drinks.

Me exaggerating?

Turn me upside down and shake me. Do it; I dare ya.

Eeewww!

I’m not threatening to strike, us keyboards ain’t like that, but upkeep now and then would be nice. A monthly anti-bacterial towel bath wouldn’t kill anything but germs and a few minutes. A gust of canned air would feel refreshing. Hell, how about another upsidedown shake (it felt kinda good)! Just clean me!

My shortcuts help you find the thesaurus. My PrtScn helps capture important images. And I don’t have to remind you how often my Escape saves you.

So stop jerking me around. You need me. I need you. Let’s type nice.

Your neglected keyboard

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Art
During the past twenty-five years, Art has worked in leadership positions with a number of global firms and their call/BPO centers worldwide. Currently president and CEO of KomBea Corporation, Art has served for more than a dozen years developing and marketing tools that blend human intelligence and automation to improve call center phone interactions.
Art has also served as executive vice president of business development and strategic initiatives for First-Source; CEO and founder of Echopass Corporation (the world’s premier contact center hosting environment, which was acquired by Genesys for about $110 million); CEO of Sento Corporation; and managing director and VP of European business development for Sykes Enterprises.
Art is a widely-published author of methodologies for BPO/contact centers, outsourcing, customer service, and technical support, and has served in leadership positions at Hewlett-Packard, VLSI Research, and RasterOps.

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